Those Were The Things My Heart Used To Know
Yesterday's Jubilate was awesome la (: I liked choir, dance & strings best. Of course the others were good also la. Half the Recess Clique were performing, so the other half bought tickets and went to support them. Lou was damn cute, she played the keyboard for the first song they sang, and as it turned out, it was her own keyboard. Quite funny, they didn't even have a keyboard provided for them.
Now can see why strings & choir got Gold with Honours :D Nothing really happened at Jubilate yesterday la. Just saw a lot of people, like church people and all. Ah well. Yesterday's lessons were slack after recess because all the performing arts people disappeared, and Chem lesson was scary ):
Study session later! Four tests next week, they're out to kill us I swear. Next term will get worse, I don't doubt it. They're going to make us sleep with our books if they have to. Ahha.
When the things you used to know, used to believe in, are all gone for good. Something happens and it changes everything. Everything. Forever. I can't remember a time when I can go off without having something or another to think about. I can't remember when was the day I lost all innocent happiness. All I remember was trying to pull through each day, constantly hoping the next day will be a better and brighter day. Perhaps this is also why silly things just make me laugh and smile and maybe even a little happy. Now, there are so few things to make me really happy. No, not anymore. Every new thing comes with a new set of problems. Even if you embark on something new, there's bound to be problems and issues. People not being happy, things going wrong, the world seems to be turning the wrong way round.. Just everything won't ever go right.Sometimes it gets really tiring. As you pretend nothing's wrong, or you can deal with things, you feel damn heavy. But through it all, thank God I have the friends I have. Thank God for the people around me. As Twinnie says, I have super low self-esteem. Yeah, that's as right as it can get.When something good happens, I question. Because in my world, nothing really good ever happens, so it seems too good to be true. When something out of the blue happens, I don't expect it, it just makes it difficult to accept, especially good things. Probably I'm used to things going wrong, things being like shit, life being like shit. Things are going to get tougher yet.
