Sometimes Words Run Out Of Meaning
Feeling like shit right now. Running six rounds is truly capable of killing one. I almost died running it. My lungs almost popped out, I could feel it. Ahha. My timing was rubbish but at least I survived! NAPFA's not until next week. Time to run more, but not so soon la.
Five items after PE and I was hungry. Kanasai one know. Anyway, it didn't go too badly if I were to sat so myself (: I did two more pull ups! Which entitles me to a pass, but may not be enough la. Later the teacher doesn't want to count. And I'm not about to fail NAPFA, okay. School tests also fail, later NAPFA fail then win already lor. Haiyo. I really hate standing board jump. Now I hate it more than pull ups. It killed my knee. Damnit ): It hadn't hurt for a long time since God knows when, but yeah. Kanasai.
Two tests after PE which I do think I'm going to fail, just couldn't think la. Chinese test was worse. I knew next to nothing at all. That's all I need to make me feel stupid. Yay. Okay, maybe let's do things a different way for a change. I shall complain lesser and do things properly (:
Didn't go for tuition. I feel horrible all over. Ahha. And I can't sleep ): What the hell. Anyway, I think I'm getting cranky so let's not talk about school and grades for a bit.
Maybe you think others fail you by not giving you what you want, but have you not also fail others by not giving them what they want? Yeah, I've been thinking about that. And I do know that I will always fail in one area, the area where my brother trods. I may be able to get close to the sidelines of the road, but I'll never make it to that very pathway. And if I don't, it'll seem to the big majority out there that in one way or another, I've failed. As much as I don't want to live for the big majority out there, sometimes that's the way it is. And that's what expectations are all about. When people tell you that they don't expect you to live up to anything, and they belong to the big majority, they're probably lying. And lies are what make the world such a complicated place. It's difficult to even catch your breath now. Everything's so confusing, because you just don't know what to do. Because if you do something wrong, the big majority's going to compare, because there's someone I have to live up to. Even if they don't say it, you feel it.
