& strangling me. Hey I didn't mean it that way that you measure friendship money. I meant that I didn't believe in that, don't get the wrong meaning because I never meant it that way in the first place. That's the whole thing, you feel like I'm blaming you but I'm not. I'm just trying to say that this certain thing or some certain things make me feel this way. Maybe whatever I'm saying is going the wrong way of potraying things but it's just how I feel. I don't mean to blame you, it's just that some of these things just make me feel that way.
I know you feel like almost all the time I'm not there. I know it. It's hard to balance things out, but I'm trying. Every new thing comes by every single day and I'm trying to cope with everything, so are you, but what I'm trying to do is cope with everything. And I'm sorry that through this process I've neglected you. I am trying. When I can't talk on the phone because of some homework or other, I'll try to message you, but sometimes you just don't reply or you reply one two sentences which makes me feel like you're busy and all. I guess it's almost the same with you trying to ring me up and me not answering.
Sometimes things got cold because we've got nothing to say, the conversation is filled with silence. I don't know about you but I find it rather awkward. That night when I called you, you were sleeping? Then you told me you were disappointed. You have to understand that I can't use the house phone as and when I want to because I was expected to be doing my work. But I tried, I rang you. Yet you said you were disappointed. It hurts you know. That isn't the first time you told me you're disappointed in something I did or did not do, which amounts to me feeling like I am not a good enough friend, I am a disappointing friend since I keep disappointing you. That feeling isn't the best feeling in the world. Probably that was why there's this feeling of foreboding when you call.
I don't think I'm a good enough friend. I was and am almost always never there for you so much so that things are turning out the way it is right now. Maybe that feeling has already built a wall in between us. I don't know. And there's not blame to push, there isn't. These things happen with time. Why I can't even spend some time with you when you need someone to talk to? It's not that I like not being there for you, but often it just happens to be the wrong time. Like you call me when I'm at tuition or busy. It's the same, isn't it? Like I call you and you're at tuition that kind of thing, or just busy. Sometimes I seek for some very little comfort, hugging tigger waiting for sleep to take over. Just anything at all.
I guess through unspoken words, things get lost in translation. I get the wrong idea and maybe you do too.
I felt like puking so I came home. Not only is my brain functioning the wrong way, so is my body. Thank you very much.
Oh simple thing where have you gone I'm getting old and I need something to rely on So tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go Talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything So why don't we go Somewhere only we know?
