The Times When Backs Are Turned To You
& life just seems to disagree with you. You feel like turning around and walking back the way you came from, only to find that there's no backdoor for you to turn to. What will you do? Brave the hostility and hurdles or just hide in a corner and shut your eyes and ears to everything? I sensed to hostility, I saw your stone cold faces, I feel you going away...Today is one of those days when I don't feel quite like myself. And that's not very often kay. Mood swings and all do not make me feel weird and funny. But God knows why, I feel beside myself today :/ I didn't feel like talking much, and simply concentrated on trying not to fall asleep and maybe thought about one thing or another. Whatever I did, it just didn't feel normal. I just did them anyway. And I'm not emo (:
Felt tired already, in the morning. Barely lasted through History and dragged through the day. That isn't the worst part know, the worst thing came when time
crawled during training. It was so bloody torturous la. We were all made to train, and so I have to also. Obviously la. But the time was like so slow. Even Roslyn came out and complained about that. So I wasn't the only one thinking that (: It seemed like as though we were counting down the minutes to the three-hours long training. Wasn't a very smart thing to do because it only made things worse ):
But something made me think (I think everything makes me think, but that's not the point). During training last week, Li Lan said something about her seeing my attitude in studies being reflected in training. She said that I'm not trying hard enough, so she deduced that I do that for my studies, too. Now it seems quite true know. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, not putting in enough effort. I give up too easily, so I'll never get to succeed in anything. Not on most things, so far. And maybe it's time to also sit and listen to what others have to say about you, not just dismissing it like another teacher's lecture or something like that. Although I'm sure that what my mother says are nothing but nags, that is certain. But on other matters, maybe a listening ear works (:
And not like I think I've been a fantastic friend to everyone I know also. Haiyo. I want bubble tea ): But my daddy doesn't want to buy for me. Kanasai la. He say I coughing, cannot drink. Tsk.
