Nothing Seems Quite The Same
Things just seem to be different from the way I imagined. But then again, nothing will ever be the same again. It never felt the same, and I'm beginning to think that it never will. Somehow, somewhere along the way something went wrong, or maybe just nothing happened at all. Whatever it was, it changed things. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, now that things are so different and it's upsetting me. We haven't talked properly in God knows how long, and I was so counting on yesterday to make up for everything. Only things went the other way, everything got messed up. And the stupid thing is, I still don't know how it happened.So many things I really want to share with you, knowing that you'd be happy for me. And then you were upset about something yesterday, but you didn't want to share with me. I felt rotten. Everything went wrong from the day we started drifting apart. Everything. Somehow, someway, I want to find a way to fix it all. To make it alright again, to make things like how they used to be. Just on the phone, laughing & crying and just talking about anything at all. I miss all those, and I miss you most.Don't know how we ended up in this state, or maybe I do. But whatever. I can only try to make things right again, if only you want it to be. There's not much point in doing things one way, it just doesn't work that way. And when I messaged you and received no reply, I was sad. Well, maybe if things continue this way, there's not going to be anything left.This is utter shit feeling. I don't feel like doing anything right now. Not homework, not anything. A few days ago, I would have thought things were going by perfect, but now, everything is falling apart and here comes the ugly side of everything. Disgusting.There's so many things I ought to do, and yet I never got around doing it. And then comes by another regret, regretting about yesterdays. But now, I am done and over with feeling regretful. It's really sickening, that feeling. Somehow, maybe things will work out fine, maybe they won't work out anyway at all. I'll just have to deal with them as they come.
Hello, emo world.
