The Tunnel Of Life I Walk In Is Dark And Lonely,
& It Leads To Nowhere
stop and look around, it's really scary to see everything changing. one by one things change so slowly that it often goes unnoticed. but if you look back and see the present, there's so much missing.
when you do notice, it's like you've just woken from a long long sleep. time has slipped through your fingers without you even realizing. but in time, you do notice and probably it's too late.
the happiness. the closeness. everything we once shared just disappeared. nothing's going to get it back. you may feel a pang of sadness. a sense of pity. but nothing you feel is going to get what we once had back.
and then it's going to down like yet another regret of life. as though life is filled with not enough regrets, i don't need any more.
i don't know why i'm saying all that. it just came to me. but i do know that there's too many regrets, i think i've lost count. regrets i can't change. losses i can't replace. some things can still be found, but more often than not, they're lost forever. but then again, almost nothing lasts forever.
they say memories last forever but i don't think so. as days, weeks, months, years go by, your mind will be filled with other things. slowly, slowly, the fond memories you so desperately want to hold on to will be blurred.
just like memories, everything else will be blurred. the goal in life i once had is gone. and now i can't even remember what it was in the first place. but i know that i was not like this before. i was more focused. i was happier. i was nothing like what i am now.
everything went away with the years. now i'm finding it so hard to concentrate, i'm finding myself not wanting to study. that's why i'm failing almost everything. it's not that i'm not trying hard enough. it's simply the fact is i give up too easily, too fast.
i give up even before i try. because things happen and my ego and confidence practically flew out of the window. the part of me wanting to give up is stronger than the part of me wanting to try. my vision is blurred. i can't see ahead, i can't see why i have to try. nothing's worth it to me. simply nothing.
how did things end up this way? i don't know. maybe i lost my way. maybe i ought to backtrack for a bit and find my way back somehow. perhaps i lost faith in everything. maybe i even lost faith in my faith. God help me.
i always look back as i walk away
